Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Girls should come with a carfax report
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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