why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
