she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
