It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
