apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
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