I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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