i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
