addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
