I'm so fucking centered right now
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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