wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
