He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
This is classic penis vs brain.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
