You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
