Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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