I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
