Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
