So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
