i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
