I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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