i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
