Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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