Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
