Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
