gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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