My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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