i barfeds in our rink
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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