Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
