is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
