im about as happy as oj after his trial
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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