It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
