sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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