So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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