Whod you bang
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
