Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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