Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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