I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
