I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
there is glitter all over my balls
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