I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
