I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
