what if every blade of grass was a penis?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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