If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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