Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
