no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
