Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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