I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
