I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
