Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
