There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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