Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
