...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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