Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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